Decoration Day
by assassinactual
Summary: Every year on the last Sunday in May, when her friends are all celebrating the first long weekend of summer, Santana Lopez visits her father.


Every year on the last Sunday in May, when her friends are all celebrating the first long weekend of summer, Santana Lopez visits her father.

The first visit happened when she was twelve, and had been entirely accidental. When she found herself in the same place a year later, Santana decided to visit again. Every year after, she would spend that afternoon with her father.

Santana's mother was the only one who knew where she went on those afternoons, but they never spoke of them. She would always go alone, and return about two hours later.

When the day arrived towards the end of her junior year of high school, Santana followed the same ritual she had for her previous visits. First, her phone was turned off and left on the dresser. Then, she pocketed the two cigars she had purchased the week before and slipped out the door with a nod to her mother.

~S~

**2009**

_Her mother needed the key to safe deposit box at the bank, so Santana had volunteered to search her father's office._

_Santana entered the dusty room, and her eyes were immediately drawn to the large desk that took up about half of the room. She sat down in the desk chair and sank into the soft leather._

_She began to search the desk drawers, and in the bottom left drawer she found a familiar looking box, which she pulled out and set on the desk. _

_Inside the box, she found the key she was looking for and two cigars._

_Santana brought one of the cigars up to her face and inhaled its scent._

_When she left the office a half-hour later, she took the box up to her room before giving the key to her mother._

~S~

Santana walked (always walked; never drove) across town to the war memorial. She slipped around the crowd and into the cemetery behind it.

~S~

**2006**

_Santana had sat through the whole ceremony just barely keeping herself from crying. When her mother had to go up and lay a wreath in front of the monument she was unable to stop a few tears from escaping._

_Not wanting to be seen in public crying, she silently got up made her way to the back of the crowd. When she was free from the people, she broke into a run._

_She ran until her legs and her lungs burned. She fell to her knees, out of breath and sobbing._

_When she caught her breath, she stood and realized she was in part of the cemetery she had just visited a few months earlier._

_It didn't take long for her to find the grave she was looking for, and when she did she sat down in front of it._

_"Why did you have to go?" she said through her tears. "I miss you."_

_When she had finished crying Santana got up and walked back to the gate, where her mother was waiting.  
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~S~

She took her time following the path along the rows of graves. The sun was warm on her face; it was a beautiful early summer afternoon. When she reached the crest of a low hill, she turned left, and stopped in front of a large black grave marker. She sat down in front of the grave and pulled out the two cigars.

"Hi dad." She took one the cigars out of its tube and cut it before setting it on top of the gravestone. She did the same with the other and lit it for herself. "A lot happened this year."

"Carlos started playing flag football. He's the quarterback. Got a really good arm. He'll probably play college ball if he keeps it up. I even got some of the girls to go to his home games and cheer for him. I got him to start singing too, and he says he wants to learn guitar. He listened to some of the old tapes of your band, and he wants to play like you.

"We're both doing good in school, and we stay out of trouble. Mostly."

She thought about what she was going to say for a moment.

"I… I figured out that I'm gay." Santana smiled. "I think everyone else already knew. Mom just rolled her eyes and hugged me when I told her."

She paused again.

"I told Brittany I love her. I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend when we go to New York for Nationals. I didn't mention that before, did I? We, the glee club, I mean, won Regionals this year, and were going to Nationals in New York. I don't even really care if we win. I mean, I would be awesome, but just going there, especially with Britt, is going to be so much fun."

Santana sighed.

"Last year, I was so sure I wanted to go to med school, but now I don't know. I got back into singing with the glee club, and I got a band together. A friend to make us a website, and we got a whole bunch of hits and few gigs. Like, they paid us real money! People on the internet were going crazy over us. I don't know if we're actually that good, but you always told me to do what I love, right?

"I quit the Cheerios, right before Nationals. Sue wanted us to quit glee club, and she had some crazy plan to shoot Britt out of a cannon, so we quit. All three of us. I didn't think Quinn was going to, but I guess we've both changed a lot. I heard she's going to try to get us back on the squad, but I don't really care about it anymore. I'll join if Britt does, though.

"Mom's a lot happier. She's volunteering at the church and the food bank all time, and she started this support group for army wives. That's been really good for her. She still misses you."

Santana sat there until her cigar was finished. She stood up and touched the letters on the stone.

"I still miss you."

~S~

**2007**

_She went to the ceremony with her mother, but she headed to the cemetery before it even started. It wasn't long before she was in front of her father's grave._

_"It's been hard without you. Auntie Sara's been visiting a lot to help mom. She's just sad all the time.__" _

_Tears began to run down Santana's face. _

_"Carlos didn't understand at first. He's better now, but he still cries at night a lot. I'm okay, I guess. I started gymnastics and dance classes in the fall, and I'm going to go to cheerleading camp this summer. I haven't sang since… since last year. I tried to, but I couldn't. I remember what you said to me, but I just can't right now."_

_She stood up and wiped at the tears on her cheeks._

_"I still miss you."_


End file.
